Farewell Party: "We're Really Gonna Miss You"

Today was my 2nd to last Sunday at Franklin Lakes UMC, and also my farewell party after worship. The congregation got me this gorgeous print of a work by He Qi, who has become one of my favorite artists with his beautiful pictures of scenes from the Old and New Testament.

The choir also sang me a song, "We're Really Gonna Miss You," written by member Roy Meyer, and sung, naturally, to the tune of "I Don't Know How to Love Him," from Jesus Christ Superstar:

We're really gonna miss you,

Rev. Beth, you should know this:

We've been blessed, you are the best!

Yet it seems like only yesterday

Since you have joined our nest.

We're really gonna miss you,

For you not only preached here,

But you sang in Chancel Choir.

Plus you sang those gorgeous 'Mary' parts

From J.C. Superstar, the besty by far.

We were so concerned when at first we learned

That Rev. Dave would leave us after twelve long years

But then you entered all of our lives,

Easing all our fears.

Then there's the extra service

Eight fifteen Sunday mornings.

Plus the time you always spent

Meeting at Panera's Restaurant

To get to know us all, was heaven sent.

We have never seen such creativity

For the Children's Sermon every Sunday morn.

These are the things they'll never forget.

You should be so proud!

Then, there was your devotion

To the slides you created,

To enhance your messages.

Seems we'll ne'er forget what we have learned,

We truly pray for you 'the very best'!!!

Thank you, friends, for a wonderful and thoughtful time this afternoon!

Harder Things

A couple of years ago, I wrote that the hardest thing in ministry was announcing to a congregation that you were moving on to a new appointment. I can now add a little bit to that: it's even harder to do when you're leaving quite a bit sooner than anyone (including yourself) anticipated, and when you have to share that you've requested the move yourself.

Today, it was announced at FLUMC that I will be moving back to the North Central New York Annual Conference, where I have maintained my membership while serving here in New Jersey. This move comes as a result of a lot of struggle, prayer, and discernment on my part. When I came to this appointment, I felt like I was being appointed to just the right place at just the right time, and I certainly don't think I was wrong about that. I've just been surprised to discover that my journey here will be much shorter than I first thought it would be, and that perhaps the plans I've had in mind for myself weren't the things God had planned for me. (Go figure! As a pastor, you'd think this part wouldn't be so surprising all the time....)

I've told folks here what I want to make very clear: my asking to move home is about just that - home and feeling a sense of homesickness for my family and conference. You don't have to know me for long to know that my family is extremely close-knit. For all our different interests and paths, we mostly live close together, and spend a lot of time together. New Jersey and Central New York aren't that far apart, but I very much miss, for example, getting to see my gorgeous nephew all the time:
What has been particularly wonderful is the graciousness that people show in the situations when you most need it. I've been dreading making this announcement. I knew it would be shocking to announce a move after just two years of ministry in an appointment. I knew people would be shocked, and expected that some people would be hurt by my news. But what I encountered today was just grace and understanding, which I needed very much. I guess everybody understands what it's like to want to go home, and I was greeted by so many kind words and wishes today, such a gift to me. As my SPRC chair was announcing the news (brand new in her role, poor woman!), I was thinking: "Hey, I'm holding myself together pretty well. Maybe I'll say a few words myself too." So I got up to speak after she was done, and immediately realized it was a bad move on my part, as a instantly started crying. Ah well. I'm still glad I added my own words from the heart. I've invited my folks here to relocate to CNY with me, but so far no takers.... ;)

So, in July, I will become the pastor at The First United Church of East Syracuse. This congregation is a blended United Methodist and Presbyterian Congregation, a congregation that came together because of a fire that burned the Methodist Church to the ground in the late 60s. Three days after the fire, the two congregation began worshipping together at the Presbyterian Church, and they've never gone back! When a new church home was built in the 1973, it was home to a united congregation. I have some learning ahead of me for sure, as I explore how blended congregations work and brush up on some Presbyterian history and polity, things we might have touched on in Church History in seminary but are sadly now forgotten! In a "small world" situation, Rev. Matt Labriola, a retired pastor here in my congregation in Franklin Lakes, co-officiated a wedding at First United a couple of years ago, so he and his wife have already been to my new appointment and even brought me a bulletin today from there time there. How strange!

Now that I've been through a pastoral transition, I think I have some better ideas about what to expect and a better sense of what I want to and can accomplish here before I go. I'm looking forward to my new appointment, and I'm looking forward to enjoying everything about my next months here in Franklin Lakes.

Room in Your Heart

Michelle over at 33 Names of Grace has a really beautiful post up about how we love congregations, and how congregations love pastors, and about how both can continue to open their hearts to love again when their is a change of pastoral appointment.

She writes, "Whenever anyone says to me, "I'm glad you are here" they pretty much say immediately after that "But I loved my previous pastor, too." I usually just listen but would it help if I said this: I loved my previous church too. It is a strange thing to be a pastor, to have a job that invites you to love a people and then be ready to leave them, and to leave them completely enough that they can connect to the new person whose job it is to love them, and so on. It is privileged and odd work, and it is the work to which I have been called.

When I became Zane's mother, I was once going on to my spiritual director about how completely he filled my heart. "I can't imagine having another child," I said. She smiled that wise smile at me and said, "You don't split your love with another child. Your heart expands." I didn't believe her. Then Theo came along. Hoo boy, I could never have imagined this expanse of love inside me before I became a parent, and of two children."

I, too, of late, have heard from folks in my previous appointment about how much they enjoy their new pastor. Of course, this is what I told them would happen, even though it was hard to see as I was leaving! God created us out of love and to love one another. Sometimes we surprise even ourselves with our capacity to love again and more and in differently.

It's a lesson I'm learning myself, even as I share it so confidently with others. I, too, wondered if I could ever have the same relationship with a new congregation as my old congregation. And the answer is both yes and no. I will never have another first appointment, and I will never have the same people in my congregation or be in the same community. So no, I can never have the same experience twice. But can my heart hold in it love for another community of faith? As I journey through Lent with my new congregation, even in the midst of struggles of many kinds, I can confidently answer, "Yes."

Adjourned Session: A New Conference?

Yesterday I attended an adjourned session of the North Central New York (NCNY) annual conference. The agenda? Vote on a recommendation to Jurisdictional Conference to merge four annual conferences in New York: NCNY, Western NY, Troy, and Wyoming. Through the wonders of modern technology, we were meeting at the same time as our sisters and brothers across the state also having adjourned sessions, and we were able to see them live (OK, with a 60 second or so delay) and worship together(-ish) and vote together(-ish). It was an interesting experience for sure!

We've been talking about merger for at least the last four years. A number of factors bring us to this place, but suffice it to say that most of us on the Boundaries Task Force felt that merging together was a strong choice for the future of the UMC in the New York State area. It's a risk, of course. Membership in the UMC in the Northeast is declining. Merging will give us more collective resources, but unless we really change the way we're doing things at some critical and basic levels, we'll just continue to declined together. So it is a risk, but also an opportunity for real change, real discipleship. We voted, and decided: YES! We're recommending to Jurisdictional Conference a merger, to take place in 2010. The NEJ has to vote on our recommendation, but we feel optimistic.

Here's some notes from worship:

Bishop Fisher –
Listening for God’s Call in a New Day
Hebrews 11:1-2, 8-10

God said, Go. Abraham said, Where? God said, I will tell you when you get there. Abraham believed, trusted. “and I would include Sarah” – when do we have to trust when we are not even the ones directly receiving the message? (my question)

Remove things that are obstacles from you moving toward your promised land.

“We fail at faith because we fear to risk.”

Bishop Hassinger –

A hope that we can be God’s faithful people

We have stayed in a land that has become comfortable

Not a true promised land, but it’s been “ok”

Focus on survival and maintenance.

People of God have never remained settled for very long

Hard to move from what is even when we know it isn’t what ought to be

Three Reminders from Hebrews

1) We can discern God’s call when we engage in truth-telling – face truth about current situations. Truth-telling was catalyst. To speak and hear the truth.

2) New future requires risk-taking vision. No GPS in wilderness. Every new awakening has begun in the Northeast.

3) Trust in God. Not trying to control every part of plan ourselves.

Packing and Moving

Now that I am finally cast-free, I have to begin the oh-so-fun work of packing and making arrangements with movers. I have a moving company lined up, although I am checking out one more company that I just recently had recommend to me. Sorting through all the different companies and trying to do an inventory of my stuff has been a challenge. Just how many bookshelves do I have? How many end tables? And I'm trying to be careful about reading all the fine print. What charges are going to show up on the day of the move that weren't included in my estimate? Do you all have any good/bad moving experiences to share?

Packing is a different story. My parsonage is huge - both here, actually, and in Franklin Lakes, and I'm just one person. And one cat. Ok, and one brother. My actor brother Todd is moving with me to New Jersey - he's thrilled he'll be so close to NYC. But he's also technically lived with me here in Oneida. It's just hard to count him because he's on tour or working in another state so often that usually it is more accurate to say Todd stores his stuff with me than that Todd lives with me. I had to accumulate stuff when I moved here just to have something to put in this five bedroom parsonage. I moved here straight from seminary, where I basically had a dorm-room amount of possessions. But, I accumulated.

Like many people moving, I suspect, I'm trying to be careful in my packing to decide what I really want. Do I need all this stuff? This coming Sunday the lectionary is my favorite gospel lesson - the first text I ever preached on - the one where the man decides to build bigger barns to store all his grain (Luke 12:13-21) God says to the man, "These things you have - whose will they be?" How many knick-knacks do I need to be happy with my home? How many DVDs that I never watch? How many place settings do I need for two people and a cat? How many pots and pans does someone who hates cooking really need?

Tell me about your moving/packing experiences, please. Any great pearls of wisdom?