Superstar

Tomorrow night, I will be participating in perhaps my very favorite Holy Week tradition - I'll be heading off to see Jesus Christ Superstar, performed by the Salt City Center for the Performing Arts. Sadly, Joe Lotito, the longtime director, died last year, and the theatre itself is no more - the building was forever falling down and 'under construction' and finally sold. But the company still performs in other locations. 


If you read this blog, or have known me for any length of time, you know that I *LOVE* Jesus Christ Superstar. I can't remember ever not knowing at least a fair amount of the music from Superstar. We had the record? tape? in my home growing up. But the first time I saw it performed live was when I was in 7th grade. My pastor at the time, Rev. Bruce Webster,  took our youth group to see the long running community theatre production at Salt City Center for the Performing Arts in Syracuse. (That year was their 15th anniversary production.) I instantly became enamored with the actor who played Judas. Being an extremely shy person, I never would congratulate him after the show, even though the actors came right out to mingle with the audience after the performance, but despite never speaking to him, my crush thrived, and sparked a fascination with Superstar and Judas that has lasted for over half my life now!  


So where has this love of Superstar and Judas taken me?


*I've seen Superstar performed live about 25 times - maybe 2/3 of those at Salt City (yes, some years I saw it more than once), and 1/3 seeing various incarnations the touring version with Ted Neeley. 


*I've dragged countless friends and family members, church members, and parishioners along with me to see Superstar, and even gotten some of them hooked on it too, although, honestly, no one is as big a fan as I am...


*I convinced my Junior High Select Choir teacher to let us sing a Superstar medley that I tracked down in 9th grade, and got to sing the solo from "I Don't Know How to Love Him." 


*I wrote a letter to now-non-existent Youth! magazine (for UM Youth) asking about whether or not Judas went to hell, after a heated debate with my Junior-high Sunday School teacher. The editor wrote me back a lovely letter filled with words about God's grace that I will never forget (even if I can't find that letter. I'm sure it's somewhere...)


*Two of my friends and I in high-school made a serious attempt (at least serious for our life-stage) to organize our own Superstar production in Rome. Some day, some day. 


*My sophomore year, I wore one of my (many) Superstar t-shirts to school every single day for several weeks until the day of the show. 


*In college, I wrote my senior religion paper on the relationship between Judas and Jesus in literature, with, of course, a big segment about Superstar. (I just looked at the current course requirements for the Pre-Theology major - I wouldn't even have to take the class I wrote the paper for if I was at Ohio Wesleyan now!)


*Last year, I convinced my wonderful music director in Franklin Lakes to let us focus on Superstar as our musical theme for Lent. For me, at least, this resulted in one of the most meaningful Lent experiences I've had in a long time. Highlights included getting to sing the part of Mary during worship (as close to the role as I will likely ever get!), and our Maundy Thursday Service, with an actor from the touring production singing "Gethsemane," giving me chills. 


*Also last year, after seeing the touring production in a matinée on Holy Saturday with my congregation at NJPAC, my mother and I got in the car, drove to Syracuse, and saw the 30th anniversary production by Salt City. And then we got back in the car, and drove back to NJ, so I would be there for Easter morning. It was totally crazy, and involved getting pulled over once, but it was SO worth it! 


So, as I prepare to see Superstar again tomorrow night (with Henry Wilson starring as Judas again...), I've been thinking - aside from my crush, what about Superstar drew me in so deeply? Why do I love it so much? 


I've always been a fan of theatre, and musical theatre in particular. But Superstar - it was a combination of theatre that I loved, and the faith that was already becoming more meaningful to me. And Superstar brought the Passion story, the story of Holy Week, alive for me in a powerful way. Ever since that first year, I have looked forward to Holy Week very much. To me, understanding Holy Week means being able to see yourself in the story, somewhere. Who would you be? Where would you be? I think that Superstar helped me wonder about those questions in deeper ways. 


Judas - my curiosity about Judas is a curiosity about the fullness and boundaries (more accurately, the lack of boundaries) when it comes to God's grace. Romans 8 talks about nothing in life and death being able to separate us from God's love. Who more tests that truth than Judas? For me, wondering about Judas' eternal fate was wondering about God's love and grace and how far it goes. Because, really, aren't we all betrayers, when to betray means to fail, to desert, to be faithless, to go astray? If there's no grace for Judas... 


I'm looking forward to yet another Superstar viewing tomorrow night, the perfect preparation for Easter morning.  

Revgals Friday Five: Friends

I decided to play the Friday Five this week - Jan writes: As Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "The way to have a friend is to be a friend."

So today let's write about the different kinds of friends we have, like childhood friends, lost friends, tennis friends, work friends, and the list goes on. List 5 different types of friends you have had in your life and what they were/are like.


***
1. Long lost friends - I've written before about the struggle I have with what I'd call "long lost friends," those relationships you have in life that were once so important, but for whatever reason, have disappeared. It's less common, now, to completely lose touch, I guess, or lose awareness of what someone else is up to, thanks to thinks like facebook (see #2), which I truly treasure, even as these mediums drive others crazy. I love that something like facebook at least lets me answer the "what ever happened to..." question, even if we don't remain in contact. Who are my lost friends? My elementary school "boyfriend" who gave me a stuffed chesire cat for my birthday (which I still have,) and then moved to Florida. The Norwegian boy who came to the US for a year with his family and was in my third grade class - Oystein Pritz. Are you out there? Countless camp friends - they should really have their own category - those friendships you make for a week that are so intense, but you mostly never talk to again: Star Berry, Kerri Sessions, Jen Lee, Sarah Kerley, Casie Salmon, Becky Parker..., the Italian exchange student who stayed with us for a month when I was in 9th grade, Michaela Tafuni. The really intriguing Jacob DeSoto from Junior High. Where are you people?

2. High-school Friends - I've only maintained unbroken contact with a very few friends from high-school, but thanks to the wonders of facebook, I've now reconnected with many more old friends. Some, a handful, I'm surprised I ever lost contact with, since we were pretty close in high-school. (I'm talking about you, Candice Torres!) Others, I was never really friends with in high-school to begin with, as far as I remember, but unlike others who hate getting requests from these folks, I enjoy it. To me, it says, "Hey, we're thirty now, high-school was a long time ago, we're adults, and we can make the connections we wouldn't make then." I can accept that, and appreciate that. There's also a couple of people that I've liked becoming friends with because they just grew up into such different people than I expected. One person, in particular, has just been such a kind, sweet person to me, and I never would have guessed that would happen a dozen years ago.

3. College friends - My roommate my freshman year of college and I really did not get along our first semester. But we got over it, became very close, and have been good friends ever since. We still visit each other whenever we can. I have a handful of very close friends from college that I keep in touch with outside of facebook-type exchanges. The longevity of these friendships, the strength of them, above and beyond both high-school and seminary (unexpected) friendships has often surprised me. In seminary, for example, a basic common purpose, and ending up generally all working in the same field, makes it seem more likely to stay in touch. But in actuality, it's my Museum-Studies-friend and my lives-on-a-reservation-in-Arizona friend who I stay in better touch with.

4. Seminary friends - I loved Drew. I love my seminary friends. I had a hard time settling in at Drew my first year. I graduated from college a year early, and I missed the friends I would have been graduating with a lot. I kept to myself a lot my first year. But eventually, I became friends with a really wonderful group of people. We don't always keep in great touch, especially since I spent the first 4 years of my ministry farther away than most of the rest of them. But I love the chances I do have to see them, and I'm proud of all the neat things they're doing in their respective ministries, including one who leads speical multimedia worship, a campus ministry chaplain, an associate general secretary at a UM agency, one who's incorporates a fitness program into a spiritual disipline for her congregation, some working on doctoral degrees now, a pastor taking leave to spend 4 months in Nigeria, friends working in social services, serving in Idaho, Arkansas, etc.

5. Colleagues - Over the last six years, I've realized that one of my favorite things about being United Methodist is the connectional system and the unique collegiality that afford me as a UM Clergy person. I know not all UM pastors feel this way, I'm sure, but I know many do just treasure times where we get together. I really enjoy attending annual conference, district days, even mundane meetings, because of the people I get to be around. Lately, I'm enjoying a newly started young clergy group connecting under-40 clergy in my soon-to-be-new conference. I enjoyed my probationary covenant group, and the district clergy women's group I used to meet with monthly, and some of my dearest friends in the world are also my colleagues, deepening our relationships.

Revgals Friday Five: Forks in the Road

I don't often 'play' Friday Five, but given my own current state of transition, and my own recent thoughts about "What Might Have Been," this "fork in the road" Friday Five caught my attention. Over at RevGalBlogPals, Singing Owl writes: I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

1. My path into ordained ministry was like my own faith journey - marked not by a 'conversion' moment, but by what I would describe more as a 'strainer' experience. The jumbled pieces of what I thought constituted a call from God into first camping ministry and then youth ministry were all poured into a strainer, and what was left behind was a clear calling into pastoral ministry. That's the best why I can describe it. A critical decision for ordained ministry happened in my college-search process. I just couldn't find a school that fit my hope: to major in youth ministry. The schools I looked at were all Christian colleges with an orientation that was much too conservative theologically for me, even in my high-school days. I finally visited and applied to Gordon College. My visit was awful. I attended chapel, and found myself so upset by what I was hearing in worship that I sobbed as soon as it was over. I had no idea where to go or what to do. My pastor suggested some UMC-affiliated schools, including Ohio Wesleyan, which seemed the best fit of the four he mentioned. I applied without visiting (although I visited later,) and found out they had a pre-theology major. Somehow, by the time I started my first semester, I was planning on ordained ministry, without even realizing how it quite happened.

2. Like my friend Amy, I strayed from the 'typical' pattern of education. I didn't skip a year in elementary school - I graduated a year early from Ohio Wesleyan, completing my BA in three instead of four years. I'm not really sure what even started me on this path - I had the plan to try it before I even arrived for my first semester. I looked at the course catalog and the requirements, and I realized how easy it would be to do, with my semester of credits I would start with thanks to high-school/college level classes. Just before my third year, I began to have doubts about my decision. I was really enjoying my time at OWU, and I knew I would miss my friends. If I stuck around a fourth year, I could add a second major. It was actually at Exploration '98 that I wrestled with a lot of these questions thanks to a workshop on discernment I almost didn't go to. Ultimately, I think I made the right decision - I was ready to move on from OWU. But I still wonder sometimes!

3. Choosing my seminary was another fork-in-the-road decision. I visited Drew, Wesley, and Boston. I loved the city of Boston. I loved the emphasis on religion and the arts at Wesley, and their program with religion and politics. But as soon as I visited Drew, I knew I would go there. It didn't have any particular program that compelled me. It was just a feeling. A widow of a pastor in my home congregation said to me, after I told her I was going to Drew, "I prophesied you would go there." She'd never said this kind of thing to me before, and never did after, but if there's anyone I would totally believe, it was her. I knew I'd made the right choice, and never wished I'd gone elsewhere.

4. In my last year of seminary, my childhood pastor invited me to commute to Drew and serve as his assistant pastor at his new(ish) appointment. We'd worked together with me as an intern when I was in college, and we worked well together. I agreed to take the position. And then - it just didn't sit right with me. I did not have any peace in my decision. So I sheepishly changed my mind. That spring, the then-pastor at my childhood church fell very ill. Because I wasn't working elsewhere, I was able to fill in at my home church almost every Sunday, preaching, teaching, visiting, etc., during an extremely difficult time for the congregation. I was so thankful I was available, and knew my difficult decision had been the right one.

5. Both coming to this appointment in New Jersey and leaving it are fork-in-the-road times. I struggled with the decision to come here, and I struggled with the decision to move back to NCNY. For me, making appointment decisions is so complicated because you ask questions not just about how the transition will affect yourself, but about how it will affect entire congregations, the one you serve and the one you might begin to serve. I've been blessed with congregations that have been particularly supportive and affirming in the midst of transition.

Theology Meme

My internet is MIA at my house/church right now, and I'm in the library trying to do everything I might need to do online before I crutch it back out to the car. (6 days to go...) I still have a review or two to write, but for now, for brevity, is this theology meme I saw over at Philosophy Over Coffee:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 high), how would you rate your theological knowledge and breadth/depth of reading?
Oh boy. Probably a 4 or 5. I feel pretty comfortable with my understanding of theological concepts, but when it comes to knowing which historical theologian thought what exactly, I'm not very well read. I have some areas of strength, but not, probably, a good overarching grasp on the major thinkers. Alas - systematic theology class seems so long ago!

2. What thoughts and feelings come to your mind when you hear the word "theology"?
I was a 'pre-theology' major in undergrad, and my little brothers always used to tease that it was "before the study of God." That's the first thought, honestly!

3. Who is your favorite theologian, and why?
Process theologian John Cobb is my very favorite. I instantly fell in love with process theology when we first studied it in systematic theology at Drew. I felt like I was reading a theology that combined everything I thought about into one system, and asked (and tried to answer) exactly the questions that have always most troubled me. John Cobb in particular is my favorite because his United Methodist background and Wesleyan theology combined with process theology is a dream combination for this United Methodist nerd.

4. Who is your least favorite theologian, and why? Oh, a tie between Martin Luther and St. Augustine. Both of them seem to have had a fantastic way of looking at the scriptures and coming up with the exact opposite interpretation than I would. Not to say that they both haven't (obviously) made hugely important contributions to theology/Christianity/the church. Of course they have. But I don't think we'd be buddies.

5. Which theologians have you been meaning to read, but have not gotten to yet?
No one in particular - I've been meaning to read a lot of the 'classics'. I've been meaning to read a great many things!

6. If you are Catholic, can you name a favorite Protestant theologian, and if Protestant, Catholic? Like PoC, I'd have to say Thomas Merton. My older brother hooked me into Merton's writings.

7. What theologies do you love like a rescue dog that saved your life?
John Wesley's understanding of salvation, sanctification, social holiness, and perfection.
Process theology - complexity, answering the "why bad things happen" questions, eschatology
Paul Tillich's The Courage to Be and Cobb and Griffin's Process Theology: An Introductory Exposition probably come closest to actually "saving my life" during my first year seminary mini-life crisis.

8. What theologies do you see commonly abused and wish people would stop it?
I think John Wesley's theology is often abused/misconstrued. His understanding and interpretation of scripture and his understanding of salvation particularly come to mind. Prosperity gospel/theology.

9. What theologies do you think are from the pit of hell, inspired by demonic powers?
The theology of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church, for starters.

10. What theological concept is most needed but ignored in contemporary Christianity?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

11. What other intellectuals or pseudo-intellectuals should blog this meme?
Anybody - everybody!

Campus Ministry

I'm on our conference's Board of Higher Education and Ministry, and this past weekend we led some workshops at a conference workshop day on being in ministry with college students. Tom Wolfe, who is the dean of the chapel at Syracuse University, put together a powerpoint presentation for our workshop. Here's some of what he shared:

Emerging trends in college students -
• Mainstreaming of pagan and naturalistic religions
• Mainline Protestantism is in decline (we all know this one, right?)
• Evangelical/Fundamentalism is on the increase (This includes “non-denominational” Christian churches).
• Greater interfaith awareness
• "In academia, it is more acceptable to discuss Judaism and Islam inside of the classroom. These traditions are generally viewed as adding to the cultural diversity of the academic environment. The topic of Christianity tends to evoke the fear that there will be an imposition of faith in the classroom."

Citing research from Cherry, DeBerg, Porterfield (bibliography below), Tom shared:
• Students defined themselves as “spiritual” instead of “religious”
• Largest attendance in campus ministry is at parachurch groups (ex: Campus Crusade for Christ, Navigators, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship)
• There is a growing skepticism of denominational expressions of faith. “I don’t want to follow a tradition, I want to have a relationship with God (or whatever).”
• Worship attendance which was once an expression of civic responsibility is now being expressed in forms of volunteerism. (I found this to be very true at Ohio Wesleyan, where the Community Service Learning office is a central and popular part of campus)
• As universities become more international (both in receiving and sending students) they become more interfaith.
• Students are less “churched,” “synagogued,” and “mosqued” than previous generations. Without deep roots in one tradition, their spirituality becomes eclectic.
• Students of color tend to define themselves as “religious” as opposed to “spiritual.” (Huh.)

Citing research from Wolfe, (bibiography below) Tom shared:
• Indifference to religion by the academy may be changing as a practical matter
• Widespread fascination with spirituality in the general culture has increased awareness of and interest in, religious studies courses
• Weekly there are stories in higher education periodicals about colleges and universities struggling with issues of inclusiveness, religious freedom, and academic freedom
• Watch-dog groups are emerging to assure rights for religious freedom because of their perceived bias that the academy favors other groups.
• “Spirituality” is becoming more and more the domain of student affairs as schools look to meet the needs of students in a more holistic way, focusing on education of the student in a more well-rounded way than simply through academics

***
What was your campus ministry experience like? My experience was a huge part of my overall college experience. The university chaplain, Rev. Jon Powers, was also my academic advisor, and from the first days of orientation he had me involved in planning worship services, and it was definitely key to my making friendship and making connections that served me well as I began the process of ordination. (I started my candidacy with a mentor from Ohio, who was then the pastor of the church I attended in college.) It was easy for me to get involved though because I was already a church-going person, already involved in the denomination to a high degree, already attending and loving Annual Conference sessions, etc.

I think a strong campus ministry can also be a place where students who haven't grown up at church can also become connected, find God, deepen faith, but I bet these students are less likely to key into a specific denominational connection. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my gut instinct. How about you? Where you involved in campus ministry? Had you been involved in a church before college? What did you like about it, or dislike? Did your local church stay connected with you while you were at school? Did you attend a local church while in college?

Bibliography Info:
• Cherry, C., DeBerg, B. A., & Porterfield, A. (2001). Religion on campus: What religion means to today’s undergraduates. Chapel Hill: The University of North Carolina Press
• Wolfe, A. (2002). "Faith and diversity in American religion." The Chronicle of Higher Education, February 8, 2002, B7-B10.

Reflections: Exploration 2006

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of leading a group of young people from my annual conference to Exploration 2006, in Jacksonville, Florida. We had 6 youth/young adults from our AC, and two other young clergy lead with me. I had the opportunity twice to go to Exploration ('96 and '98) in high-school and college, and I remember being the only one from my annual conference, or at least the only one I was aware of at the time. So, I wanted to give a more organized experience to young people from NCNY this time around. One of the frustrating parts of the process for me in pursuing ordination was feeling disconnected. I knew I wanted to be a pastor, and communicated that to adults early on and consistently in my journey, but it wasn't until I was back inside the AC bounds serving a church as a probation that I felt really connected again. I've heard many young people express a sense of call, and I always wonder - is anyone following up with them? Is anyone keeping in touch with them? Helping them figure out what to do next? So, I'm trying to answer my own critique at least in part, and make sure I help that connection process take place.

Attending as an adult certainly made me reflect on my two experiences as a participant. When I went in '96 (Dallas/Fort Worth) I was recovering from surgery, and was popping Tylenol with Codeine every four hours for the pain. I slept through most of the event. I remember focusing all of my energy/attention on staying awake, only to realize I had been nodding off mid-sermon. I also remember being pretty sure at that time that I was going into youth ministry, would never attend seminary, and certainly would never become a pastor. I went to Exploration because my own pastor encouraged it, and helped fund the trip. But I did enjoy my time, half-awake and all. It was the first time I ever traveled solo, which is still something I enjoy. And it was fun to be in the presence of so many other young people considering ministry.

In 1998, I had a much different experience. I attended with a handful of friends from Ohio Wesleyan. The event was in Los Angeles, and we flew over the Grand Canyon on the way out. It may sound silly, but I couldn't believe how big it was, even from way up in the plane. I mean, I guess it is the Grand Canyon and all, but it was *so* big and beautiful. (I'm hoping to actually get to Arizona this year to see it a little closer up!) I managed to dig up my participant book this weekend to look through. (Yes, I'm a pack rat.) The structure of the event, the schedule is mostly unchanged. But I was apparently less critical as a young person than as an adult! I made comments in my book about all the preachers and speakers and workshops. I attended two workshops - Women in Ministry and Discerning and Discovering God's Call. I went to the second because my friends were all going to that one, and it turned out to be surprisingly thought-provoking. I was struggling, at the time, with a decision about whether or not to graduate a year early from Ohio Wesleyan. I eventually chose to do so, and my decision in part was from that workshop. I had high praise for Bishop Woodie White, who preached at the commitment service, Bishop Roy Sano, host bishop, and then Rev. Minerva Carcano. Liked the music team. Like all of it, really.

Now, as an adult leader, I couldn't turn off my critical lens. Our leadership from NCNY was interesting - three of us ordained together this June - theologically at opposite ends of the spectrum. All of us under 40. We tend to disagree with each other on most things, but have somewhat of a common understanding about where the church is and where the church needs to be, which makes us interesting partners in ministry too. We talked to each other a lot about the language, the music, the preaching, the structure of the schedule, the seminary displays, etc., though I suspect that we had a lot more to say about this than the young people with us did. Bishop Carcano was supposed to preach the closing worship at this event, but was not able to attend, so I was disappointed there. All in all, though, I know the youth we took had a great time and each took at least something helpful away.

I was just glad to be in Jacksonville instead of Central New York in late November. Our hotel was gorgeous, and right on the river/boardwalk. It was beautiful all weekend, and I was glad to have no responsibilities at the event!