Sermon 4/3/16
John 20:19-31
Finding Easter: Doubt
I know some people have been brought up, one way or another,
in a spirituality that discourages asking questions, that looks on doubts and
questions as disrespectful sometimes, or dangerous, or at least discouraged.
I’ve told you before about the weekly Faith Chats I lead in Rochester where I
work at the retirement community. This week, we were talking about the
different accounts of the resurrection in each of the gospels, and one of the
woman, a woman in her late eighties, raised in the Catholic tradition, said
that she had never asked some of the
questions we were asking together before. She found it both compelling and
unsettling, asking questions, studying the text, sometimes encountering no
easy, clear cut answer, but only, instead, uncovering more questions. I don’t
want to push her or the others too hard – but I do I hope that they all
experience the freedom that comes from being able to, encouraged to, even, ask
questions about our faith. I consider myself pretty lucky – I was encouraged,
if anything, to ask questions about my faith. And I was lucky to find people in my life that
were willing to talk to me about my questions, to try to share their own
answers, or, blessedly, to sometimes say the most honest words, the too-often
underused words: I don’t know.
I think our faith grows through our questions and doubts.
At the least, our questions and doubts at least show we are interested and engaged.
I would rather have a Bible Study group, for example, full of people with
questions to discuss, rather than a room full of people who just want – or
already know – the answers. And at the best, I think our questions can lead us
deeper in our faith, lead us beyond a surface level faith into a real relationship
with the living God who created
our very questioning minds! If our faith cannot withstand our questions, or
wondering, our doubts, our curiosity – why would we pin our whole lives on a
faith that was so unable to withstand examination? I’ve invested too much of
myself to commit my life to something that will collapse under the slightest
breeze of doubt.
I can point to my own life, my own faith questions, for
some moments that were really pivotal, that could have led me in one direction
or another, that really formed who I was, who I am. I’ve shared with you a
couple already: When I was very little, and I wrote my note to God in crayon: Dear
God, You know I have many
questions. Please write the answers here. And then in elementary school, when
my Sunday School teacher answered my question about “how could dinosaurs have
been extinct millions of years before humans showed up, if the world was
created in seven days” by telling me that maybe God’s time and our time were
different. When I was asking questions, my mother and my Sunday School teacher
were both so helpful. My mom helped me figure out the best way I could get
answers to faith question – by learning to listen for God's voice. My Sunday School teacher helped me learn that science
and faith could work hand in hand, rather than be at cross-purposes.
Another
Sunday School incident came later, when I was in Junior High. It was in junior
high that I became obsessed with
Jesus Christ Superstar. In particular, I became very intrigued by Judas. Was he
in hell, even if he was part of the plan that ultimately led beyond the
crucifixion of Jesus to his resurrection? Was the betrayal necessary for Jesus
to fulfill what he seemed sure he must do? I asked my teacher, and she told me:
Judas was in hell because he committed suicide. End of story. No room for
conversation. I had a really hard time with her response: for Judas, for
suicide, and because of the promises from God that we’re loved in life and in death. I wrote in to a Christian
youth magazine that I loved and asked the same questions. The editor wrote back
a full page letter, sharing his belief in God's inexhaustible grace, in only God knowing us enough to judge our lives, and in God’s power to
extend grace to us beyond any walls we erect, even the wall of death. I don’t
mean to make this sermon just a trip down memory lane. But I mean to point out
– questions and doubts – they can be, when handled with care – doorways,
openings, pathways to a faith, a relationship, a spiritual richness that is yet
unknown and unimagined.
Today, we
encounter a gospel lesson that focuses on the most famous doubter of all, one
forever known by his act of questioning: Doubting Thomas. So few of the twelve
disciples are singled out in the gospels. We know quite a bit about Peter, but
about the others, hardly anything. And for Thomas, virtually the only mention
of him in the gospels is this scene today. Thomas doesn’t believe Jesus is
raised until he sees Jesus with his own eyes, and he’s forever after known as
Doubting Thomas.
Our
text opens on the evening of Easter Sunday. At this point, only Mary Magdalene
has seen the risen Christ. Peter and another disciple had seen the empty tomb,
but left before seeing Jesus. Mary had told them that she’d seen Jesus, but we
see today that her news apparently had little effect on them. The disciples are
locked up in the house where they’re staying, afraid because of the events of
Jesus’ crucifixion and death. They’re not rejoicing. They’re scared. It seems,
perhaps, that they are filled with doubt and uncertainly. They’re certainly not
acting like people who believe that their loved one is not dead, but alive
after all. Then suddenly, Jesus appears, and says, “Peace be with you.” He
shows them his wounds, confirming that he is the very Jesus they saw die. He
again blesses them with peace, and tells them they will be sent as he was sent.
He breathes on them, and speaks of the Holy Spirit, and gives them authority.
But
Thomas isn’t there with them for some reason. The disciples share what they
have seen – that they’ve seen Jesus. But Thomas says that unless he sees for
himself, he won’t believe. A week later, the disciples are again in the house
together, this time with Thomas too. Jesus again appears, with words of peace.
And this time, Thomas sees for himself. “My Lord and my God!” he exclaims.
Jesus says, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who
have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
And
so Thomas, then nicknamed “the Twin,” finds himself a new nickname: Doubting
Thomas. Peter didn’t have this same bad luck – he denied Jesus in the critical
moment, but we know so much more about him and so we’re able to see a better
picture of the ‘full Peter’. We know he’s more than that one event. We know him
as Peter the Rock of the Church, not as Peter the Abandoner of Jesus. But we
don’t have anything much else about Thomas in the Bible. So for us, Thomas’
whole discipleship is summed up in this one event – Doubting Thomas. Imagine if
your life was summed up in a label like that, based on one event, one action
you took, one question you asked. What word would describe you fairly?
Fully?
Besides,
“doubting” is hardly a label that Thomas deserves more than any of the others –
he was the only one asked to believe for sure that Jesus was alive without
the benefit of seeing him. Would the others have been convinced without seeing
Jesus themselves? Peter and another disciple had already been to the tomb, as
we read last week, and they were still confused and locked in fear in
this room until Jesus appeared before them. Apparently, they weren’t so full of
faith that they were ready to venture out of hiding. I think given the chance,
we would have seen all of the remaining eleven disciples do just what Thomas
did – ask for some more convincing proof.
Importantly,
though, Jesus doesn’t seem to mind Thomas’ doubt, as long as that’s not where
Thomas ends up. I think we’re a bit
afraid of doubt, or how God will react to our doubts and questions about faith.
There’s so much we don’t understand about God or how God works in the world or
about what God wants us to do. But sometimes, we’re afraid to admit that we
don’t get it. Maybe we’re afraid that God will punish us for having doubts, or
that we’re the only ones with doubts. But this passage, Thomas’ encounter with
Jesus should put our fears to rest. Jesus says that those who believe without
seeing are blessed. But he doesn’t say Thomas is bad or wrong or a failure
because he has doubts. In fact, Jesus just gives Thomas what he needs to move
from doubt to faith. He shows Thomas his wounds, a reassurance, and brings him
peace, a comfort, just as he did for others. Like so many people have in my own
life, Jesus just used Thomas’ questions to move him, and the rest of the
disciples, to a deeper understanding of how God was at work.
Easter
isn’t just a one day celebration for people of faith. It isn’t over. Christians
call themselves Easter people, because we’re always people who believe in new
life and resurrection, every single week. But we’re also in the midst of the
Easter Season – the great fifty days of Easter. This season goes from Easter
Sunday to the Day of Pentecost in May. It represents the time that Jesus spent
with the disciples after the resurrection, preparing them to do the work he’d
set out for them. They were filled with doubts and fears, and worries, and a
lack of understanding, even still, even after the resurrection. But they
believed in God, in Christ’s ability to shape and guide them. So whether you
are the one asking questions, or the one trying to open a door for a curious
mind, know that God always meets us where we are, and leads us on.
Amen.
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