Sermon 10/16/16
James 3:1-12
James: Taming the Tongue
Once upon a time I was a little girl
going up front for Children’s Time at my little country church in Westernville,
NY. I can’t tell you that all the message and lessons stuck with me. But I
still remember one very well – the pastor was asking us to guess what the strongest
muscle in our body was. We all tried to guess, but were surprised when the
pastor told us that the tongue was
actually the strongest muscle. So strong, he said, you have to be careful,
thoughtful, about the words you say, about how you speak. That message has
stuck with me. Now, eventually, I researched a little to figure out – is it
really the strongest muscle? It isn’t. It was a bit of a hyperbole. But the
gist is true. It’s a small part of us with incredible power – power to build
up, to heal, to strengthen, and power to hurt, and tear down, and destroy. How
do you use your words? How do use the muscle, the power that you have in the
way that you speak? What words are you sending into the world?
“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never
hurt me.” This phrase seems to have appeared sometime in the mid-1800s (1),
perhaps meant to be a way to help people withstand verbal mistreatment. But
anyone who’s been on the receiving end of consistent bullying can tell you how
wrong this little saying is: words are powerful.
Immeasurably powerful. Words can do a great many things, and certainly, causing
harm is one of them.
Words are powerful, and have
consequences, even when we speak them quickly, thoughtlessly, without much
intent behind them. I think, for example, of my grandmother. Her sister told
her, when they were children, that she couldn’t sing – she didn’t have a nice
voice. My grandmother took those words to heart. They worked deep down into her
soul. Decades later, when my mom was a girl, and the family would sing songs in
the car on trips, my grandmother would never join in. My grandmother was shaped
by those words, which in turn shaped the childhood experiences of my mother. I’m
sure my great aunt never imagined that her words would cause such a permanent,
lasting feeling. But the words caused hurt. Powerful, the words we speak.
Words are powerful. When I was in
high school, I was part of the Conference Council on Youth Ministries – CCYM –
our conference’s team of youth leaders from area churches. We’ve had some folks
from this church participate in CCYM over the years and attend CCYM events. At
a CCYM event at Casowasco one year, Rev. Rebecca Dolch was our keynote speaker.
She had us split into two groups. One group sat in a circle on the floor, and
the other group stood in a circle around them. In the outside group, each
person had to think of an encouraging word or phrase to share with those in the
inside group. And then, as music played, the outside group rotated around,
sharing their message in a whisper to each person on the inside group. So if
you were sitting on the inside, as people moved around the outside, you’d hear
a string of affirmations: “You’re beautiful. I love you. You’re a gift. God
loves you. God calls you. You’re special. I care about you. You’re made in God’s
image.” Then inner and outer circles switched, and the process was repeated. It
is still, all these years later, one of the more meaningful experiences I’ve
had – both when I was sharing words of affirmation and receiving them.
Powerful, the words we speak.
I’m guessing that you can remember,
if you think over your life, times when words had an amazing impact on your
life – some good, some bad. I can remember words spoken to me thirty years ago
that hurt my feelings. And thankfully, I can also remember words that made my
heart swell with joy. What words do you remember hearing that shaped your life?
What words do you remember saying –
words of affirmation, or words that caused harm? I’ve been wrestling recently with
words that I said about someone that were unkind and hurtful. And indeed, my
words, comments made by me without much thought or intent, without much time or
energy put into them – led to a series of events that have caused considerable
pain. I know I won’t forget. Powerful, the words we speak. In our world today,
we produce more words than ever, but more than ever, our words are disconnected
from our person – we speak at a distance, through our phones, through email,
through text, through facebook. Online, we don’t even have to claim our words,
and the power of being able to speak anonymously online seems to have unleashed
our desire and ability to say the worst things we can think of saying to hurt
each other. What words do you speak online that you would never speak face to
face? We must claim those too! Powerful, the words we speak, in whatever medium
we speak them.
We’re continuing on in our study of the letter
of James this week. Nearly half of what James writes in this short letter is
tied in some way or another to how we speak, how we interact with each other. Throughout
the work he calls for us to speak truthfully, to be careful of speaking
judgmentally, to be quick to hear and slow to speak. He calls on us never to
speak about each other falsely. And here, in today’s passage, are his most
direct, compelling words about how we speak. He starts by saying that not many
of us should become teachers, because teachers are judged with greater
strictness. Anyone here agree with that? Teachers have authority over others,
and certainly in spiritual matters, those who teach others about God and what
God is like and how we are called to live – that’s a serious task that requires
us to take serious responsibility for our work.
James says that the tongue, our
mouths, our words – they’re like the bit one uses with a horse – a tiny piece
that steers the whole direction of the horse. Our tongues are like the rudder
on a ship. Proportionally small to the whole – a rudder is responsible for directing
the whole boat. The power of our words, says James, is like the power of a
small fire, which can burn down a whole forest. Humans have managed to tame
whole species of animals, whole segments of creation – but have failed to tame
the tongue. The result? “With [our tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and
with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth
come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so,”
James writes. How compelling, how meaningful are our words of praise, our words
of thanksgiving, our words of prayer, our words of love, if we also use our
words to hurt and harm? How can we praise God and curse what God has created in
God’s very image?
Think
about the power of words that shape our Christian identity. We’re bound
together by the scripture, words that describe the story of God and God’s
people. God created with words. “God said let there be light … and there was
light.” We call Jesus the Word too – in the gospel of John, John says that “the
word became flesh and lived among us.” The Word in human form in the person of
Jesus. I think of the words Jesus speaks. Teaching and preaching. Words that
heal, literally. Words that set people free from sin. Words that forgive. Words
that challenge. Words of love. I think of the words of our community of faith.
The words we know as the Lord’s Prayer. The words of the hymns. The words of
our sacraments – “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the
Holy Spirit.” “This is my body, broken for you.” Powerful, the words we speak.
So what do we do about it? Knowing
our words are so important, what do we do? It’s tempting to think that it’s
only what we do, not what we say that matters. But like we talked about with
faith and works last week, we can’t really have just one or the other. Our
words shape us and shape others. So how do we, as people of faith, become more
thoughtful, more faithful, in our speaking?
When
we need to, we start by using these powerful words: “I’m sorry. I was wrong.
Please forgive me.” These words, offered with sincerity, can change everything.
Sometimes I think about all the ways we try to avoid having to say “I’m sorry”
or “I was wrong.” We say, “I’m sorry, but…” and follow with basically an
explanation of why we are not sorry at all. Or “I’m sorry that you got upset
with me.” This is another non-apology, basically a criticism of the other
party, rather than a sincere admitting of wrong. How about the phrase, “My
apologies.” I find myself slipping into that phrase when I’m telling someone
that I’m sorry I haven’t emailed them back more promptly. “I’m so sorry. I was
wrong.” Words to offer to God and one another.
We’ve talked a lot about building
each other up as the Body of Christ, and that’s another thing we can do with
words. I remember as a child attending our church camps, a camp rule was that
there were “no put downs.” And if you did put someone down, you had to
apologize by giving “two put ups and a hug.” In other words, you had to find
two ways to build the person back up that you had just knocked down. How can
you put someone back up who has been knocked down by words – your words, or
someone else’s? On my desk in my office, you’ll see a big plastic jar, full of
little slips of paper. My home church gave that to me when I started my first
church. They wrote on index cards words of affirmation, and told me that when I
was having a hard time in my ministry, I should open the jar and read some of
the words. I’ve added to it over the years, if someone sends me a note that
touches my heart. The words on those cards mean so much to me, and they remind
me that I am loved and cherished. They give me strength and encouragement. I
don’t even have to read the cards most of the time – I can just look at them
sitting in the jar, and remember.
I challenge us to remember that our
words are powerful this week – even when we think we’re in places where our
words don’t “count” as much – when we’re driving, when we’re interacting online,
when we’re anonymous, when we’re speaking with people who are serving us – wait
staff, cashiers, customer service, someone who’s kept us on hold for thirty
minutes. Let us remember our words when we’ve been hurt, and our first impulse
is to hurt back. We are all teachers, friends, in so far as our whole lives are
witnesses to the work of Jesus in the world. And so we have a great
responsibility. What do our words tell others about who Jesus is, and who his
followers are? I hope our words tell the story of God’s amazing love and grace
in a powerful and convincing way.
“Let the words of my
mouth and the mediations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God, our
rock and our redeemer.” Amen.
(1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticks_and_Stones
Comments